Its very natural & normal to feel the needs of a life partner, having an intimate relationship with him/her. According to one’s values and liking it differs from man to man. We enter in a relationship with the hope of getting a future friend, a companion & a protector. But sometimes we get the worst humiliation & torture from those closed to us who were supposed to give us care, love & protection. In this situation, we get confused of what to do & what not to do. However, due to our social and environmental condition, a major part of women in our society ignore this situation.
How will you understand when Intimacy becomes the reason of Fear and when the Torture starts? How will you save yourself from this situation? If your partner becomes Violent, what will you do then? Where will you seek for help?
According to World Health Organization, Intimate Partners refer to either a Husband or a person living together with or a Boy-friend or an Ex-husband or an Ex-lover or an Ex-companion. Physical, Mental & Sexual Abuse, such as: Physical Abuse, in a Forced Sexual Relationship, Mental Torture, Possessiveness & Controlling are Abuse & Violence in an Intimate Relationship. Both Present & Ex-companion are mentioned in the definition of the World Health Organization. Some terms related with these situations are- Domestic Violence, Insult husband/wife, Abuse of either Husband or Wife. The term Dating Violence means relationship affair among young people where they do not live together.
There are some particular signs where relationship becomes Violent & Abusive. How will you save yourself from this condition, from where you will get help, you will get to know these from here also.
Symptoms of IPV:
It may be hard for you to notice when your companion becomes Violent. Especially in South Asia, women were taught that Husbands are allowed to force in a Sexual Relationship. But whatever the situation might be, whether Relationship is there or not, forcing into a sexual relationship is Rape. It may appear to you that using Abusive words, slang words towards you is very normal. But torturing you emotionally is a sign that in future it will turn into Physical Abuse.
Some Violent Behavior of Intimate Partners are given below:
- Always stalk your each move.
- Blaming you Unfaithful without any reasons.
- Prevents you from Meeting your Family & Friends.
- Put Restriction in works & study.
- Maltreat you & showing Anger after consumption of Alcohol or Drugs.
- Keeping your own Money with him/her, controlling the way you spend your money.
- Controlling or trying to Control your important Medication.
- Giving Opinion to your Own matters. (What you will wear or eat.)
- Insulting you in front of everyone.
- Destroying something important or favorite of yours.
- Threatening to hurt you, your child, pet animal.
- Threaten to Slapping, Pushing, Pinching, Kicking or Biting you, hurt you physically or have already done so.
- Threatening you to hurt with a Weapon or do so.
- Doing Physical Relationship Forcefully against your own will.
- Controlling the way of Birth control or Forcing you to take a child & making you responsible for his/her Violent behavior.
- Threatening to hurt himself/herself after getting angry.
- Always keeping you in Pressure & in control.
‘If you are not mine, you will be no ones’-saying this type of words.
You should understand that if your partner behave with you in this manner meaning; you relationship is Violent & the way he/she behaves with you is also unethical. It will put a great impact on both your physical & mental health. Insulting an intimate relationship is a great social & physical problems that are affecting the lives of millions of women in the whole world. Not only physical & social problems but also psychological problem can occur because of this. This violence is not limited with physical or mental abuse; sexual, economic abuse & others are also a part of it.
Types of Offence in Intimate Relationship:
There are different types of offence in an intimate relationship. One can be a victim of different types of offence at a time. Different types of offence in an intimate relationship are:
- Physical Abuse.
- Verbal, Emotional & Mental Torture.
- Sexual Abuse.
- Economic Abuse.
The most common violence is physical abuse which leaves different marks all over the body. It is mostly seen & the worst torture. Physical abuse starts since childhood; may be a little push during a quarrel. Starting from twisting one’s wrist which slowly leads to larger offence. As a result of this, death of the victim can also occur. From Forcing someone to Killing- all are included in physical abuse. Beating, Kicking, Punching, Slapping, Hanging, Shaking, Burning, Putting into Cold, Pushing, Pinching, Cutting, Biting, Throwing something, Hitting with a weapon all are included in physical abuse. Hiding medicine of a sick person, making someone late for taking drugs- also included in physical abuse.
Verbal, Emotional & Mental Torture:
Verbal, emotional and mental torture usually occurs with physical abuse which is more harmful than physical violence. Unreasonable demands, making someone tensed deliberately without any reason, making someone feeling guilty, making someone feel inferior, ignore partner’s opinion & needs are also abuse. By doing these, one tries to scare the partner and try to get control over him. Using slang language, shouting, making fun with partners body & insulting him/her in front of everyone, insulting Partner’s family, threatening to kill partner or hit the partner, destroying partner’s property & reputation; in fact after doing all these, denied easily blame it on others for his/her own behavior- all these are included in mental & emotional torture.
Sexual abuse means- making unethical sexual relationship without the consent of the companion. Unwanted touch, forceful sexual relationship, unfaithful sexual relationship, hitting during sexual relationship or behaving disrespectfully (for example: Pissing on the victim), hitting, hurting the genital part, forcing in prostitution, forcing sex if the partner does not want it or if the person is sick, forcefully making the partner naked, compel sexual relationship with the fear of weapon. Date rape or rape in conjugal life, showing severe jealousy over partner’s life, giving negative comments, taking videos or photos during sex, negative comments regarding sexuality, using slang, decision to take child, controlling sexuality- fall in sexual abuse.
Hampering one’s freedom economically, educationally & controlling the work opportunities are economic abuse. This abuse can occur in different ways: Deprived partner from money, putting all economic responsibilities on the partner, hiding money, hiding information regarding economic condition from partner etc are some forms of Economic Abuse.
Impact of IPV:
Only adults are not the victim of the offence in intimate relationship, it also has a negative bad impact over the future generation. Children from those offensive family suffers physically, they become violent in nature, lack in education, hamper their learning process. Some become offender in future. Pregnant women who become the victims of IPV have the chance of giving birth to premature, low birth weight baby. Even there is a chance of still birth also.
You, yourself, your family and even your partner need help in the situation of offence in intimate relationship. There is no shame to ask for help at the very beginning to get rid of jealousy behavior rather its disgraceful to tolerate this kind of behavior silently.